We have written to the Centers for Disease Control to request that they issue a warning regarding an unstoppable and life threatening epidemic that strikes 9 out of 10 high school seniors: Senioritis. Early symptoms of senioritis include: excessive hair growth, poor grooming, refusal to change out of pajamas, laziness, excessive sleep, and thumb cramps following long video game sessions. Advanced symptoms include: lack of studying, repeated absences, dropped classes, and a generally dismissive and uncaring demeanor. Students exhibiting these symptoms must be treated immediately lest they experience one or more of the following long-term consequences: Continue reading →